Saturday, October 24, 2009

You know You've Lived in the Middle East for too Long when….

This has definately been done before, but it arrived in my email today and I thought I'd post it anyway:

You enjoy camping in the sand

You are not surprised to see a goat in the passenger seat

You serve coffee in a thimble

You expect confirmation on your airline reservation to be “inshallah”

You think everyone’s first name is “Al”

You need a sweater when it’s 80 degrees Fahrenheit

Your idea of housework is leaving a note for the houseboy

You understand “no problem” means follow up

You think skis were developed for use on sand dunes

You believe speed limits are only advisory

You expect to see tractors driving at 40 kmp on a super highway

You expect police to drive BMW’s

You know whether you are within missile range of Iraq

You think black is appropriate day wear

You think it’s normal to play golf on the sand and putt on the brown

You refuse to go swimming in the Gulf unless the water is in the mid 90’s F

You wear a jacket inside and take it off when you go outside

You think shopping malls are covered souqs

You expect your office to call you at home on Fridays

You can judge a perfect “10” by the ankle

You think carpets belong on the wall

You know which end of the sharwma to unwrap first

You think the further you inch into the middle of the intersection the faster the light will turn green

You believe that the definition of “nanosecond’ is the time interval between the time the light turns green 
and the time that the guy behind you begins to blow his horn

You believe it’s normal to buy a car without first taking it for a test drive

You give directions by landmarks instead of road names

You think all gas stations are made of marble

You can receive every television station except the local station

You get used to using the cold water tap to get hot water during the summer

You think being liberated means sitting in the family section

You think a red light means run it

You can’t buy anything without asking for a discount

You have more carpets than floor space

You expect all stores to stay open till midnight

You understand that “wadi bashing” isn’t a criminal act

You make left turns from the far right lane

You think Pepsi begins with a “B”

You send friends a map instead of your address

You think Kleenex belongs on the dinner table

You think the biggest event of the year is the camel races

You think water only comes in bottles

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