Very silly. Sent from a Saudi friend.
In China this is how they stand…
In China this is how they stand…
In Saudi this is how they stand
Showing posts with label women. Show all posts
Showing posts with label women. Show all posts
Friday, January 6, 2012
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Think Pink HOG ride, Bahrain, 2011
Here's video footage of the Think Pink, HOG ride in Bahrain last week. Uploaded here not only to promote the boys, but because there's some decent footage of the roads and buildings here in Bahrain. Well done and Keep it up boys:
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Saudi Princess Interview with Piers Morgan
HH Princess Ameerah Al Taweel being interviewed on women's rights in Saudi Arabia by Piers Morgan on CNN:
Monday, December 20, 2010
The Koran, from a Western Perspective
Lesley Hazleton is a British-American writer whose work focuses on the politics, religion, and history of the Middle East.
Here are her thoughts on the Quran or Koran:
Hazleton was born in England, and became a United States citizen in 1994. She was based in Jerusalem from 1966 to 1979 and in New York City from 1979 to 1992, when she moved to her current home in Seattle WA.
She has described herself as, "a Jew who once seriously considered becoming a rabbi, a former convent schoolgirl who daydreamed about being a nun, an agnostic with a deep sense of religious mystery though no affinity for organized religion".
She blogst at: THE ACCIDENTAL THELOLOGIST and is currently working on a new biography of Muhammad, to be published by Riverhead/Viking in 2012.
Here are her thoughts on the Quran or Koran:
Hazleton was born in England, and became a United States citizen in 1994. She was based in Jerusalem from 1966 to 1979 and in New York City from 1979 to 1992, when she moved to her current home in Seattle WA.
She has described herself as, "a Jew who once seriously considered becoming a rabbi, a former convent schoolgirl who daydreamed about being a nun, an agnostic with a deep sense of religious mystery though no affinity for organized religion".
She blogst at: THE ACCIDENTAL THELOLOGIST and is currently working on a new biography of Muhammad, to be published by Riverhead/Viking in 2012.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
Mass Weddings
Not from the GCC, but the Arab world. Mass weddings in Gaza with adult men and child brides,
Somehow the video somehow didn't ring true ... this is what HOAX SLAYER says about the video:
Claims that 450 pre-pubescent girls were married in a mass wedding sponsored by Hamas are untrue
Messages like the example included above are currently circulating via email and have also been posted to a great many blogs, online forums and social networks around the world, where they have generated a flood of often vitriolic anti-Islamic sentiment and very heated debate.
The messages claim that hundreds of pre-pubescent girls were forced to marry adult grooms in a recent mass wedding ceremony in Gaza organized by Palestinian Islamic organization, Hamas. According to the messages, 450 brides, most of whom were under ten years old, were married to 450 grooms most of whom were in their mid to late twenties. The messages accuse Hamas of actively and willfully promoting pedophilia and condemn the act as "bizarre & shameful".
Support for these claims is centered around several photographs supposedly showing tiny "brides" dressed all in white and holding the hands of their much taller, grown-up "grooms". However, while a mass wedding did indeed take place in Gaza in July 2009, the claim that the photographed children were actually the brides in the ceremony is untrue.
These photographs represent virtually the entire "body of evidence" that supports the claims in these indignant protest messages. However, this supposed photographic "evidence" is in fact meaningless because they do not actually depict child brides at all. Instead, they show young family members of either the bride or the groom. At such Muslim wedding ceremonies, it is a tradition for young girls to dress up and play a role in the celebrations in a way similar to how flower girls are used in Western wedding ceremonies. Although these young girls do look like little brides, they are certainly not the ones getting married.
Hamas has vehemently denied that any children were married at the event. In fact, a Hamas official told WorldNetDaily that the youngest girl married at the ceremony was 16 years old while most were over 18 years of age.
These scurrilous and inflammatory reports began circulating soon after the Hamas sponsored mass-wedding took place. A 30 July 2009 AFP news article notes:
Nearly a thousand Palestinians celebrated marriage on Thursday night in a ceremony organized by Hamas in the north of the Gaza Strip.
Hamas dignitaries including Mahmud Zahar, one of the militant group's top leaders, were on hand to congratulate 450 grooms who took part in the carefully stage-managed event.
"We are saying to the world and to America that you cannot deny us joy and happiness," Zahar told the men, all of whom were dressed in identical black suits and hailed from the nearby Jabalia refugee camp.
Each groom received a present of $500 from Hamas, which said its workers had also contributed five per cent of their monthly salaries to add to the wedding gift.
Much has been made of the fact that no photographs of the real brides have made it into news reports about the event. This seeming omission has been seized upon by many commentators as more evidence that the children in the photographs really are the brides in spite of denials by Hamas and others.
However, the absence of the brides is in fact just a reflection of how Muslim public ceremonies are conducted. News reports indicate that "the 450 brides shared none of the glamour, taking seats among the audience" while their grooms actively participated in event ceremonies.
And a SkyNews video report about the mass wedding notes in reference to the brides that "The women are elsewhere". Tim Marshall, the journalist who presented the SkyNews video, was actually there at the mass wedding ceremony. In a blog post about his attendance, Marshall reiterates that the brides were elsewhere, noting that some of them were among the guests. He also writes:
The men and women are sitting, Most ignore the speeches, some even ignore the prayers. Then the fireworks explode, the cheering begins, and in march the Hamas scouts, bashing drums, looking every inch the future Hamas fighters many will be. Then the grooms, aged about 18 to about 28. They are holding hands with their young nieces and cousins, little girls aged from about 3 to 8, made up to the nines, wearing white wedding dresses.
Up they all go to the stage, the cheering and music grows ever louder. The girls were having the time of their lives, but, getting a little bored after a while, came down off the stage to dance with each other and play games.
Our report on this put it into context saying that it took place just a mile from the Israeli border and was a message from Hamas about its strength confidence and future fighters. Oh and that the brides were elsewhere. Pretty straightforward. It never struck me for a moment that the little girls might later be described in the bloggersphere as the brides! How naive I am.
Moreover, the 2009 mass-wedding is not at all unprecedented. An October 2008 New York Times article reporting on a Hamas sponsored mass wedding held in that year, notes that it was the tenth such event held in Gaza. The article also mirrors reports about the 2009 event, noting:
The 300 grooms were dressed in black pants, white shirts and colorful ties but no jackets, because of recent budget cuts. The brides, sitting separately among the women, wore head scarves and black robes over their evening dresses but were easily spotted by their heavy makeup. The couples had all signed marriage contracts before the event.
Ironically, reports about the 2008 event also featured photographs of young girls clad in white bride-like dresses. The New York Times article shows such youngsters dancing in front of the grooms. Apparently, the poison-pen denizens of the blogosphere saw no reason to conclude that the children in photographs of the 2008 mass wedding were actually the brides, so one wonders why they have so rabidly done so in 2009.
Perhaps the 2009 images are a little more compelling and it is, I suppose, at least possible that whoever first perpetrated these inflammatory falsehoods did so out of genuine misunderstanding. What is less forgivable - "bizarre & shameful" even - is that many hundreds of bloggers have gleefully perpetrated such errant nonsense in their publications without taking the few minutes required to check the veracity of its claims.
While free speech is (or should be) a fundamental human right, perhaps even home-based citizen journalists should take at least some responsibility in ensuring that the information they publish is factual and accurate
Somehow the video somehow didn't ring true ... this is what HOAX SLAYER says about the video:
Claims that 450 pre-pubescent girls were married in a mass wedding sponsored by Hamas are untrue
Messages like the example included above are currently circulating via email and have also been posted to a great many blogs, online forums and social networks around the world, where they have generated a flood of often vitriolic anti-Islamic sentiment and very heated debate.
The messages claim that hundreds of pre-pubescent girls were forced to marry adult grooms in a recent mass wedding ceremony in Gaza organized by Palestinian Islamic organization, Hamas. According to the messages, 450 brides, most of whom were under ten years old, were married to 450 grooms most of whom were in their mid to late twenties. The messages accuse Hamas of actively and willfully promoting pedophilia and condemn the act as "bizarre & shameful".
Support for these claims is centered around several photographs supposedly showing tiny "brides" dressed all in white and holding the hands of their much taller, grown-up "grooms". However, while a mass wedding did indeed take place in Gaza in July 2009, the claim that the photographed children were actually the brides in the ceremony is untrue.
These photographs represent virtually the entire "body of evidence" that supports the claims in these indignant protest messages. However, this supposed photographic "evidence" is in fact meaningless because they do not actually depict child brides at all. Instead, they show young family members of either the bride or the groom. At such Muslim wedding ceremonies, it is a tradition for young girls to dress up and play a role in the celebrations in a way similar to how flower girls are used in Western wedding ceremonies. Although these young girls do look like little brides, they are certainly not the ones getting married.
Hamas has vehemently denied that any children were married at the event. In fact, a Hamas official told WorldNetDaily that the youngest girl married at the ceremony was 16 years old while most were over 18 years of age.
These scurrilous and inflammatory reports began circulating soon after the Hamas sponsored mass-wedding took place. A 30 July 2009 AFP news article notes:
Nearly a thousand Palestinians celebrated marriage on Thursday night in a ceremony organized by Hamas in the north of the Gaza Strip.
Hamas dignitaries including Mahmud Zahar, one of the militant group's top leaders, were on hand to congratulate 450 grooms who took part in the carefully stage-managed event.
"We are saying to the world and to America that you cannot deny us joy and happiness," Zahar told the men, all of whom were dressed in identical black suits and hailed from the nearby Jabalia refugee camp.
Each groom received a present of $500 from Hamas, which said its workers had also contributed five per cent of their monthly salaries to add to the wedding gift.
Much has been made of the fact that no photographs of the real brides have made it into news reports about the event. This seeming omission has been seized upon by many commentators as more evidence that the children in the photographs really are the brides in spite of denials by Hamas and others.
However, the absence of the brides is in fact just a reflection of how Muslim public ceremonies are conducted. News reports indicate that "the 450 brides shared none of the glamour, taking seats among the audience" while their grooms actively participated in event ceremonies.
And a SkyNews video report about the mass wedding notes in reference to the brides that "The women are elsewhere". Tim Marshall, the journalist who presented the SkyNews video, was actually there at the mass wedding ceremony. In a blog post about his attendance, Marshall reiterates that the brides were elsewhere, noting that some of them were among the guests. He also writes:
The men and women are sitting, Most ignore the speeches, some even ignore the prayers. Then the fireworks explode, the cheering begins, and in march the Hamas scouts, bashing drums, looking every inch the future Hamas fighters many will be. Then the grooms, aged about 18 to about 28. They are holding hands with their young nieces and cousins, little girls aged from about 3 to 8, made up to the nines, wearing white wedding dresses.
Up they all go to the stage, the cheering and music grows ever louder. The girls were having the time of their lives, but, getting a little bored after a while, came down off the stage to dance with each other and play games.
Our report on this put it into context saying that it took place just a mile from the Israeli border and was a message from Hamas about its strength confidence and future fighters. Oh and that the brides were elsewhere. Pretty straightforward. It never struck me for a moment that the little girls might later be described in the bloggersphere as the brides! How naive I am.
Moreover, the 2009 mass-wedding is not at all unprecedented. An October 2008 New York Times article reporting on a Hamas sponsored mass wedding held in that year, notes that it was the tenth such event held in Gaza. The article also mirrors reports about the 2009 event, noting:
The 300 grooms were dressed in black pants, white shirts and colorful ties but no jackets, because of recent budget cuts. The brides, sitting separately among the women, wore head scarves and black robes over their evening dresses but were easily spotted by their heavy makeup. The couples had all signed marriage contracts before the event.
Ironically, reports about the 2008 event also featured photographs of young girls clad in white bride-like dresses. The New York Times article shows such youngsters dancing in front of the grooms. Apparently, the poison-pen denizens of the blogosphere saw no reason to conclude that the children in photographs of the 2008 mass wedding were actually the brides, so one wonders why they have so rabidly done so in 2009.
Perhaps the 2009 images are a little more compelling and it is, I suppose, at least possible that whoever first perpetrated these inflammatory falsehoods did so out of genuine misunderstanding. What is less forgivable - "bizarre & shameful" even - is that many hundreds of bloggers have gleefully perpetrated such errant nonsense in their publications without taking the few minutes required to check the veracity of its claims.
While free speech is (or should be) a fundamental human right, perhaps even home-based citizen journalists should take at least some responsibility in ensuring that the information they publish is factual and accurate
Friday, July 23, 2010
Sofas? Banned for Women
Just sent to my inbox this morning ...
The latest FATWA: women are not allowed to sit on sofa because they get relaxed and they may open their legs while relaxing and this will seduce the male in the room…..
28th July - update
this was written by a woman
اخر فتاوي :الجلوس على الكرسي حرام
الى اي مستوى قد ينزل التفكير ؟؟ والى اي مستوى نصل بالدين الى حد الأضحوكة
كان الرسول الاكرم وصحابته الكرام يجلسون على المنبر
فتوى (تحريم الجلوس على الكراسي) التي أصدرتها الدَّاعية أم أنس، على موقعها الإليكتروني، بعنوان (تنبيه إلى حرمة الكراسي وما أشبهها من مقاعد وأرائك، والله أكبر) وإليكم نص الفتوى:
"إن من أخطر المفاسد التي بُليت بها أمتنا العظيمة ما يُسمَّى بالكرسي، وما يشبهه من الكنبات وخلافها، ممَّا هو شرٌّ عظيم يخرج من الملة كما يخرج السَّهم من الرَّمية . و إن السَّلف الصالح وأوائل هذه الأمَّة، وهم خير خلق الله، كانوا يجلسون على الأرض، ولم يستخدموا الكراسي، ولم يجلسوا عليها، ولو فيها خير لفعله حبيبي، وقرة قلبي، وروح فؤادي، المصطفى عليه الصلاة والسَّلام ومن تبعه بإحسان. و إن هذه الكراسي وما شابهها صناعة غربيَّة، وفي استخدامها والإعجاب بها ما يوحي بالإعجاب بصانعها وهم الغرب، وهذا، والعياذ بالله، يهدم ركناً عظيماً من الإسلام وهو الولاء والبراء، نسأل اللــــه العافية . الأمر جلل يا أمَّة الإسلام، فكيف نرضى بالغرب ونعجب بهم وهم العدو . و ما يجلبه الكرسي أو الأريكة من راحة تجعل الجَّالس يسترخي، والمرأة تفتح رجليها، وفي هذا مدعاة للفتنة والتبرُّج، فالمرأة بهذا العمل، تمكن الرَّجل من نفسها لينكحها، وقد يكون الرَّجل من الجّنّ أو الإنس، والغالب أن الجّن ينكحون النساء وهنَّ على الكراسي. وكم من مرَّة شعرت المرأة بالهيجان والشَّبق الجّنسي المحرَّم، وذلك بعد جلوسها على الكرسي. ولكَمْ من مرَّة وجدت المرأة روائح قذرة في فرجها كما خبرت وكما حدثتني بذلك بعض الصَّالحات، التائبات من الجُّلوس على الكراسي، لذلك فالجُّلوس على الكرسي رذيلة وزنا لا شبهة فيه . و الجلوس على الأرض يُذكر المسلم بخالق الأرض وهذا يزيد في التعبُّد، والتهجُّد، والإقرار بعظمته سبحانه "
The latest FATWA: women are not allowed to sit on sofa because they get relaxed and they may open their legs while relaxing and this will seduce the male in the room…..
28th July - update
this was written by a woman
اخر فتاوي :الجلوس على الكرسي حرام
الى اي مستوى قد ينزل التفكير ؟؟ والى اي مستوى نصل بالدين الى حد الأضحوكة
كان الرسول الاكرم وصحابته الكرام يجلسون على المنبر
فتوى (تحريم الجلوس على الكراسي) التي أصدرتها الدَّاعية أم أنس، على موقعها الإليكتروني، بعنوان (تنبيه إلى حرمة الكراسي وما أشبهها من مقاعد وأرائك، والله أكبر) وإليكم نص الفتوى:
"إن من أخطر المفاسد التي بُليت بها أمتنا العظيمة ما يُسمَّى بالكرسي، وما يشبهه من الكنبات وخلافها، ممَّا هو شرٌّ عظيم يخرج من الملة كما يخرج السَّهم من الرَّمية . و إن السَّلف الصالح وأوائل هذه الأمَّة، وهم خير خلق الله، كانوا يجلسون على الأرض، ولم يستخدموا الكراسي، ولم يجلسوا عليها، ولو فيها خير لفعله حبيبي، وقرة قلبي، وروح فؤادي، المصطفى عليه الصلاة والسَّلام ومن تبعه بإحسان. و إن هذه الكراسي وما شابهها صناعة غربيَّة، وفي استخدامها والإعجاب بها ما يوحي بالإعجاب بصانعها وهم الغرب، وهذا، والعياذ بالله، يهدم ركناً عظيماً من الإسلام وهو الولاء والبراء، نسأل اللــــه العافية . الأمر جلل يا أمَّة الإسلام، فكيف نرضى بالغرب ونعجب بهم وهم العدو . و ما يجلبه الكرسي أو الأريكة من راحة تجعل الجَّالس يسترخي، والمرأة تفتح رجليها، وفي هذا مدعاة للفتنة والتبرُّج، فالمرأة بهذا العمل، تمكن الرَّجل من نفسها لينكحها، وقد يكون الرَّجل من الجّنّ أو الإنس، والغالب أن الجّن ينكحون النساء وهنَّ على الكراسي. وكم من مرَّة شعرت المرأة بالهيجان والشَّبق الجّنسي المحرَّم، وذلك بعد جلوسها على الكرسي. ولكَمْ من مرَّة وجدت المرأة روائح قذرة في فرجها كما خبرت وكما حدثتني بذلك بعض الصَّالحات، التائبات من الجُّلوس على الكراسي، لذلك فالجُّلوس على الكرسي رذيلة وزنا لا شبهة فيه . و الجلوس على الأرض يُذكر المسلم بخالق الأرض وهذا يزيد في التعبُّد، والتهجُّد، والإقرار بعظمته سبحانه "
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Always & Forever: The Downside - Divorce [ta-laQ]
Talaq [taa-laQ] is the Islamic term for divorce and can be used by a man to end a marriage, but not by a woman. All the man needs to do to end a marriage is to say the word, "TalaQ" three times to his wife, with either no witnesses present (Sunni), or with two witnesses present (Shi'ite, Shia).
The woman has no come back and can not use the triple TalaQ should she wish to divorce {see wgaw: THINGS TO THINK ABOUT BEFORE YOU MARRY and THINKING ABOUT DIVORCE} However I did read in the paper once of a woman who swore her husband said the triple TalaQ whilst he was asleep and they were forced to divorce.
Please note, if you marry with a Muttah there is no such thing as a divorce settlement, simply because it is not thought of as a 'real' marriage in the first place {see wgaw: MUTTA}
Getting Divorced
In the Islamic world there are two main formats when getting divorced; one for Shia's and another for Sunnis {see wgaw: DIFFERENCES BETWEEN SUNNI & SHIITE}
Shia
For Shia's the divorce is publically announced after which the couple can reconcile if they wish, (it's expected they attempt to reconcile within three months of the divorce annoucement). once the three month waiting period is completed the divorce is completed, as long as two witnesses agree.
Sunni
The couple divorces the moment the husband declares a triple Ta-laQ. Islamic tradition maintains a waiting period of three months, or three menstrual cycles to ensure the ex-wife is not pregnant.
Once the divorce is finalised the couple may remarry up to three times. After the third divorce the wife must marry and then divorce another man before the couple can marry for a fourth time.
The woman has no come back and can not use the triple TalaQ should she wish to divorce {see wgaw: THINGS TO THINK ABOUT BEFORE YOU MARRY and THINKING ABOUT DIVORCE} However I did read in the paper once of a woman who swore her husband said the triple TalaQ whilst he was asleep and they were forced to divorce.
Please note, if you marry with a Muttah there is no such thing as a divorce settlement, simply because it is not thought of as a 'real' marriage in the first place {see wgaw: MUTTA}
Getting Divorced
In the Islamic world there are two main formats when getting divorced; one for Shia's and another for Sunnis {see wgaw: DIFFERENCES BETWEEN SUNNI & SHIITE}
Shia
For Shia's the divorce is publically announced after which the couple can reconcile if they wish, (it's expected they attempt to reconcile within three months of the divorce annoucement). once the three month waiting period is completed the divorce is completed, as long as two witnesses agree.
Sunni
The couple divorces the moment the husband declares a triple Ta-laQ. Islamic tradition maintains a waiting period of three months, or three menstrual cycles to ensure the ex-wife is not pregnant.
Once the divorce is finalised the couple may remarry up to three times. After the third divorce the wife must marry and then divorce another man before the couple can marry for a fourth time.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Arabic Make-up [mac-kee-arge]
This round robin is entitled,
'Now I know why they Mention on the Wedding Invitation, No Children Allowed'
In addition to it being a bit over the top with the photoshop, it's difficult to imagine anyone not being invited to an Arabic Wedding (esp. children).
It's the lip liner I find most strange.
ماسألتم أ نفسكم في يوم من الأيام لماذا يكتبون في بطاقات دعوات الزواج
ممنوع اصطحاب الاطفال؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟
انا بصراحه الآن عرفت السبب انزل تحت وبتعرف السبب
هي حلوة شوي نص مصيبة
يعني ما بيكفي علبة الألوان اللي زارعتها في عيونها
'Now I know why they Mention on the Wedding Invitation, No Children Allowed'
In addition to it being a bit over the top with the photoshop, it's difficult to imagine anyone not being invited to an Arabic Wedding (esp. children).
It's the lip liner I find most strange.
ماسألتم أ نفسكم في يوم من الأيام لماذا يكتبون في بطاقات دعوات الزواج
ممنوع اصطحاب الاطفال؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟
انا بصراحه الآن عرفت السبب انزل تحت وبتعرف السبب
هي حلوة شوي نص مصيبة
يع يع يع
يعني ما بيكفي علبة الألوان اللي زارعتها في عيونها
Friday, June 11, 2010
Why is the Weather so hot?
This was recently sent this from a friend in Yemen; is the weather hot and humid because of the weather reporter?
مهم جداً ............ قارن بين المنطقة العربية و الاجنبية
جوه تجيب المطر وكل الخير والبركة على البلاد والعباد وتخليك تتابع نشرة الاحوال الجوية ؟؟؟
لهذه ألأسباب موجود خير وبركه بوجوههم
وشوف تحت الوجه ببلادنا مقدمين النشره
ووجوه تجيب الغبار؟ والرطوبه؟ والسخونة ؟ وانفلونزا الحمير؟؟؟
مهم جداً ............ قارن بين المنطقة العربية و الاجنبية
جوه تجيب المطر وكل الخير والبركة على البلاد والعباد وتخليك تتابع نشرة الاحوال الجوية ؟؟؟
لهذه ألأسباب موجود خير وبركه بوجوههم
وشوف تحت الوجه ببلادنا مقدمين النشره
ووجوه تجيب الغبار؟ والرطوبه؟ والسخونة ؟ وانفلونزا الحمير؟؟؟
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Bahrain's first sex shop owner appears in court
The female owner of Bahrain’s first sex shop has appeared in court accused of insulting a Customs officer during an argument over the import of sex aids and games.
Khadija Ahmed denied the charge at Lower Criminal Court on Monday and the case was adjourned to September 15, according to a report in the Gulf Daily News.
The mother-of-three told the paper her shop is a legitimate business that also helps save marriages by putting excitement back into couple’s lives
I established the store to help married couples, because the issue most Bahraini couples suffer from is the lack of interest in their intimate relationship,” she told the paper.
Ahmed opened Khadija Fashion House in 2008 selling lingerie, sex aids and games to a loyal and increasing customer base.
She has faced issues with Customs officials over some of the products she tried to import that they said were not authorised.
"The products I sell don't go against Islam. There is nothing that prohibits married couples from enjoying their sex lives, or preventing them from having a happy marriage," she told the paper.
"Customs staff confiscated some of my products, even though some are widely available in pharmacies and other stores.”
For the actual articles see:
arabianbusiness
maktoob.com
Khadija Ahmed denied the charge at Lower Criminal Court on Monday and the case was adjourned to September 15, according to a report in the Gulf Daily News.
The mother-of-three told the paper her shop is a legitimate business that also helps save marriages by putting excitement back into couple’s lives
I established the store to help married couples, because the issue most Bahraini couples suffer from is the lack of interest in their intimate relationship,” she told the paper.
Ahmed opened Khadija Fashion House in 2008 selling lingerie, sex aids and games to a loyal and increasing customer base.
She has faced issues with Customs officials over some of the products she tried to import that they said were not authorised.
"The products I sell don't go against Islam. There is nothing that prohibits married couples from enjoying their sex lives, or preventing them from having a happy marriage," she told the paper.
"Customs staff confiscated some of my products, even though some are widely available in pharmacies and other stores.”
For the actual articles see:
arabianbusiness
maktoob.com
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Habaytak Bisayf
Fayrooz, possibly the most famous Lebanese singer of all time, singing her most famous song, Habaytak Bisayf [ha-bay-tik bee-safe]:
When she played in Bahrain two years ago the tickets sold out in 5 minutes.
When she played in Bahrain two years ago the tickets sold out in 5 minutes.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Multiple Marriages
Islam permits a man to marry up to four wives. This custom still occurs and (as a generalisation) many families will have at least one man who has two or more wives.
This practice is endorsed by the Koran (4:2 & 4:3) which says,
“Give orphans the property which belongs to them. Do not exchange their valuables of worthless things or cheat them of their possessions; for this would surely be a great sin. If you fear that you cannot treat orphan (girls) with fairness, then you may marry other women who seem good to you; two, three or four of them. But if you fear that you cannot maintain equality among them, marry one only or any slave-girls you may own. This will make it easier for you to avoid injustice.”
I remember watching one man who had two wives being shuttled between the two houses and feeling sorry for him; I couldn't imagine what it must be like to have no where he could call his own home. That was my European perspective on his situation, he seemed genuinely happy with the situation ...
Example
The following poetry quote is about the difficulty of taking more than one wife and comes from, ‘The Perfumed Garden’. This is an Arabic erotic book which is thought to have been written in the 1500’s and translated into English by the explorer Richard Burton in the late 1800’s.
“By reason of my ignorance I have married two wives - and why do you complain, O husband of two wives? I said to myself, I shall be like a lamb between them; I shall take my pleasure upon the bosoms of my two sheep, and I have become like a ram between two female jackals, days follow upon days, and nights upon nights, and their yoke bears me down during both days and nights. If I am kind to one, the other gets vexed. And so I cannot escape from these two furies. If you want to live well and with a free heart, and with your hands unclenched, then do not marry. If you must wed, then marry one wife only: One alone is enough to satisfy two armies.”
Urban Legend
Two Saudi women married to the same man and living in the same house, lived next door to another couple and had become friends with the wife. When next door neighbour died the woman begged their husband to marry the neighbour’s widow. After some discussion and thought their husband agreed and so did the widow next door and now all three live together in one house.
This practice is endorsed by the Koran (4:2 & 4:3) which says,
“Give orphans the property which belongs to them. Do not exchange their valuables of worthless things or cheat them of their possessions; for this would surely be a great sin. If you fear that you cannot treat orphan (girls) with fairness, then you may marry other women who seem good to you; two, three or four of them. But if you fear that you cannot maintain equality among them, marry one only or any slave-girls you may own. This will make it easier for you to avoid injustice.”
I remember watching one man who had two wives being shuttled between the two houses and feeling sorry for him; I couldn't imagine what it must be like to have no where he could call his own home. That was my European perspective on his situation, he seemed genuinely happy with the situation ...
Example
The following poetry quote is about the difficulty of taking more than one wife and comes from, ‘The Perfumed Garden’. This is an Arabic erotic book which is thought to have been written in the 1500’s and translated into English by the explorer Richard Burton in the late 1800’s.
“By reason of my ignorance I have married two wives - and why do you complain, O husband of two wives? I said to myself, I shall be like a lamb between them; I shall take my pleasure upon the bosoms of my two sheep, and I have become like a ram between two female jackals, days follow upon days, and nights upon nights, and their yoke bears me down during both days and nights. If I am kind to one, the other gets vexed. And so I cannot escape from these two furies. If you want to live well and with a free heart, and with your hands unclenched, then do not marry. If you must wed, then marry one wife only: One alone is enough to satisfy two armies.”
Urban Legend
Two Saudi women married to the same man and living in the same house, lived next door to another couple and had become friends with the wife. When next door neighbour died the woman begged their husband to marry the neighbour’s widow. After some discussion and thought their husband agreed and so did the widow next door and now all three live together in one house.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Vilence Against Women
This landed in my in-box today:
Bahrain Human Rights Watch Society (BHRWS) launch: Bahraini Civil Network to Combat Violence Against Women (BCNCVAW)
A PETITION urging authorities to introduce a family law and a labour law to stop violence against women and protect expatriate workers was launched by a Bahrain human rights group today.
More than 100 people have already signed the BHRWS petition, which specifically requests the protection of women and children.
The petition was launched by the BHRWS' Respect Movement on the occasion of the 10th anniversary of the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women.
Signatures will be collected until the end of the month and the petition will be presented to the UN, in Geneva. It will also be sent to the UN Human Rights Commission and international organisations.
BHRWS Regional and International Relations Director and (BCNCVAW) Director Samira Al Sada said urgent action was needed from the Bahrain authorities because people were suffering.
"There are more than 72,000 expat domestic workers whose wages are around BD45 per month and who work more than 12 hours a day with no rest," she said.
"Many who are running from abuse still have cases in court, but Bahrain joined the Convention on the Elimination of all Forms of Discrimination against Women (CEDAW) in 2001."
"There are many cases to address, for example there are many Bahraini women married to expats or expats women married to GCC men like Rebecca Jones and her son Adam who are still waiting for their children to get citizenship and some are in a bad situation. And she said that the news and HOPES that a Adam mother would be temporarily reunited with her ten-year-old son today, who was allegedly kidnapped in Qatar almost two months ago, appeared dashed last night was particularly upsetting considering that today marks the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women.
"Although this isn't physical violence, it is a typical example of the sort of treatment that women can suffer in the region," she added
And she saied today BHRWS launch: Bahraini Civil Network to Combat Violence Against Women (BCNCVAW) As BHRWS launch this Civil Network, BHRWS call all everywhere to join us. Break the silence. When you witness violence against women and girls, do not sit back. Act. Advocate. Unite to change the practices and attitudes that incite, perpetrate and condone this violence.
BHRWS secretary-general, Faisal Fulad said efforts from all sectors were needed to ensure that women, children and domestic workers had the rights they deserve.
Gender-based violence, he said, was a form of discrimination that seriously curbs women's ability to enjoy rights and freedoms on a basis of equality with men.
"We have to take appropriate measures, especially in the field of education and legislation, to modify the social and cultural patterns of conduct of men and women and to eliminate prejudices, customary practices and other practices based on the idea of the inferiority or superiority of either of the sexes and on stereotyped roles for men and women."
The petition was welcomed by female victims of abuse and they were the first to sign the petition.
"This law will ensure the basic rights of all mothers and their children and grant them dignity and respect in the society that they live in,' they said.
'It is important to include domestic workers under the labour law so they can also be assured of their basic rights."
To electronically sign the petition, which remains open until the end of the month, go to www.bhrws.org.
Bahrain Human Rights Watch Society (BHRWS) launch: Bahraini Civil Network to Combat Violence Against Women (BCNCVAW)
A PETITION urging authorities to introduce a family law and a labour law to stop violence against women and protect expatriate workers was launched by a Bahrain human rights group today.
More than 100 people have already signed the BHRWS petition, which specifically requests the protection of women and children.
The petition was launched by the BHRWS' Respect Movement on the occasion of the 10th anniversary of the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women.
Signatures will be collected until the end of the month and the petition will be presented to the UN, in Geneva. It will also be sent to the UN Human Rights Commission and international organisations.
BHRWS Regional and International Relations Director and (BCNCVAW) Director Samira Al Sada said urgent action was needed from the Bahrain authorities because people were suffering.
"There are more than 72,000 expat domestic workers whose wages are around BD45 per month and who work more than 12 hours a day with no rest," she said.
"Many who are running from abuse still have cases in court, but Bahrain joined the Convention on the Elimination of all Forms of Discrimination against Women (CEDAW) in 2001."
"There are many cases to address, for example there are many Bahraini women married to expats or expats women married to GCC men like Rebecca Jones and her son Adam who are still waiting for their children to get citizenship and some are in a bad situation. And she said that the news and HOPES that a Adam mother would be temporarily reunited with her ten-year-old son today, who was allegedly kidnapped in Qatar almost two months ago, appeared dashed last night was particularly upsetting considering that today marks the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women.
"Although this isn't physical violence, it is a typical example of the sort of treatment that women can suffer in the region," she added
And she saied today BHRWS launch: Bahraini Civil Network to Combat Violence Against Women (BCNCVAW) As BHRWS launch this Civil Network, BHRWS call all everywhere to join us. Break the silence. When you witness violence against women and girls, do not sit back. Act. Advocate. Unite to change the practices and attitudes that incite, perpetrate and condone this violence.
BHRWS secretary-general, Faisal Fulad said efforts from all sectors were needed to ensure that women, children and domestic workers had the rights they deserve.
Gender-based violence, he said, was a form of discrimination that seriously curbs women's ability to enjoy rights and freedoms on a basis of equality with men.
"We have to take appropriate measures, especially in the field of education and legislation, to modify the social and cultural patterns of conduct of men and women and to eliminate prejudices, customary practices and other practices based on the idea of the inferiority or superiority of either of the sexes and on stereotyped roles for men and women."
The petition was welcomed by female victims of abuse and they were the first to sign the petition.
"This law will ensure the basic rights of all mothers and their children and grant them dignity and respect in the society that they live in,' they said.
'It is important to include domestic workers under the labour law so they can also be assured of their basic rights."
To electronically sign the petition, which remains open until the end of the month, go to www.bhrws.org.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Adam Disapears
Over the past couple of weeks a British expatriate mother, Rebecca Jones, has been interviewed by many of the Gulf-based English language newspapers. She is fighting to have her son, Adam, who is half English and half Qatari, returned to her family home.
The following local Gulf newspapers give detailed overviews on what is happening in the Adam case at: Gulf News and at the Gulf Daily News: here and here
Divorce
In general when parents split, the choice of where the children live differs between Muslim and western cultures. In general, in Muslim cultures children are given to the father and in western cultures the children are given to the mother.
For more information on what happens when divorce or death occurs in a mixed marriage, have a look at this {wgaw: divorce} or this {wgaw: pre-nuptual agreements}
If you're interested in reading more about Adam's case, there's an extended debate about the case and the court ruling, with lots of cross-cultural information (and very little ranting) at qatar living
Also
Adam's mother and step-father have put information about what has happened to their family on Bahrain Human Rights website Facebook and YouTube:
The following local Gulf newspapers give detailed overviews on what is happening in the Adam case at: Gulf News and at the Gulf Daily News: here and here
Divorce
In general when parents split, the choice of where the children live differs between Muslim and western cultures. In general, in Muslim cultures children are given to the father and in western cultures the children are given to the mother.
For more information on what happens when divorce or death occurs in a mixed marriage, have a look at this {wgaw: divorce} or this {wgaw: pre-nuptual agreements}
If you're interested in reading more about Adam's case, there's an extended debate about the case and the court ruling, with lots of cross-cultural information (and very little ranting) at qatar living
Also
Adam's mother and step-father have put information about what has happened to their family on Bahrain Human Rights website Facebook and YouTube:
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Changes: Some Positive, Some Negative
I feel quite positive about many of the changes which are occuring in the Gulf right now.
Image taken from: http://www.islammonitor.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1355&Itemid=63
Having said that, as westerners we often expect change to happen fast, although that's something that's open to interpretation. Women were banned from voting in Switzerland until 1971 (and in the area of, 'Appenzell Inner Rhoden' until 1991), whilst the last witch trial was held in England in 1944. Helen Duncan was convicted and served nine months in jail.
But I digress. If we accept changes occur in the Middle East at a Middle Eastern pace, because it is the Middle East, then things are moving very quickly indeed.
Two years ago Saudi newspapers were noticable empty of women; not a single woman would be pictured, ever. It was as if only one sex existed. Last week I counted 10 photos of women in the Friday newspaper, with one of those photos covering half a page, in full colour, with the woman's arms and head hair on display. In local terms that is F1 speed.
Some Positive
So, why all the positivity? Last week it was announced
1.
Kuwaiti women would no longer need a Mahram {see wgaw blog archive: divorce}, which leaves just Saudi Arabia and Afghanistan {see wgaw blog archive: rape} the only places in the world in which a woman is legally not allowed to leave the house without a male escort.
2.
Mixed education can now take place, up to the age of 9, in private schools in Saudi Arabia. See this article
Some Negative
However, on the negative side, the Sudanese fundie group, 'al shabab' [al sha-bab] (the boys) announced this week in addition to women being banned from wearing trousers, they could no longer wear bras. It seems they check if a bra is being worn by forcing the women to shake her breasts.
I shouldn't joke, in general sarcasm is not used or understood in the Gulf, but what article of clothing is next I wonder?
Image taken from: http://www.aussiemuslims.com/forums/showthread.php?p=376468
Image taken from: http://www.islammonitor.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1355&Itemid=63
Having said that, as westerners we often expect change to happen fast, although that's something that's open to interpretation. Women were banned from voting in Switzerland until 1971 (and in the area of, 'Appenzell Inner Rhoden' until 1991), whilst the last witch trial was held in England in 1944. Helen Duncan was convicted and served nine months in jail.
But I digress. If we accept changes occur in the Middle East at a Middle Eastern pace, because it is the Middle East, then things are moving very quickly indeed.
Two years ago Saudi newspapers were noticable empty of women; not a single woman would be pictured, ever. It was as if only one sex existed. Last week I counted 10 photos of women in the Friday newspaper, with one of those photos covering half a page, in full colour, with the woman's arms and head hair on display. In local terms that is F1 speed.
Some Positive
So, why all the positivity? Last week it was announced
1.
Kuwaiti women would no longer need a Mahram {see wgaw blog archive: divorce}, which leaves just Saudi Arabia and Afghanistan {see wgaw blog archive: rape} the only places in the world in which a woman is legally not allowed to leave the house without a male escort.
2.
Mixed education can now take place, up to the age of 9, in private schools in Saudi Arabia. See this article
Some Negative
However, on the negative side, the Sudanese fundie group, 'al shabab' [al sha-bab] (the boys) announced this week in addition to women being banned from wearing trousers, they could no longer wear bras. It seems they check if a bra is being worn by forcing the women to shake her breasts.
I shouldn't joke, in general sarcasm is not used or understood in the Gulf, but what article of clothing is next I wonder?
Image taken from: http://www.aussiemuslims.com/forums/showthread.php?p=376468
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
'Coz Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend
When Arab women marry they will always receive a shabka [shab-ca] or a set of jewellery (ring, earrings, a bracelet and a necklace, recently expanded to a tiara) from their husband-to-be, or their husband-to-be family.
Arab women usually wear sets of jewellery in everyday situations, but what makes the shabka different from other jewellery sets is the addition of the bracelet.
Traditionally Arab brides go shopping in the gold suq with their mothers and sisters or friends and choose the shabka themselves; it has to be something they like. The husband will then visit the shop at a later date and pay for it.
Image: shabka holder at a wedding. unfortunately i was too slow with the camera and the bride had put on the shabka before I could take a photo of it :-(
In the Arab world jewellery is not just about being decorated, it's also a way of saving. Jewellery given to a woman becomes hers absolutely and as a consequence women can act as the families' bankers. Women are given jewellery as children and will continue to collect throughout their life, with many women receiving jewellery (on the whole wedding presents consist of jewellery to the bride, rather than the Western tradition of household items) when they marry.
Women in the Gulf have traditionally bought and sold: as new fashions arrive the jewellery tends to go back to the goldsmith to be melted down and reworked, making old pieces quite rare.
Why 22 Carat?
Gold in the Gulf is always 21 or 22 carat which gives it the deep dark mustard yellow colour. The 9 carat jewellery found in England is described by jewellers here as being, “Not really gold at all, is it?”
I found out many years later one of the reasons for the jewellery being so big and so pure was simple. Originally the wearer would be sitting in a dark tent and small jewellery just wouldn't reflect any light, whilst the 22 carat purity would mean the colour of the reflected light was soft and orange, not hard and yellow.
Arab women usually wear sets of jewellery in everyday situations, but what makes the shabka different from other jewellery sets is the addition of the bracelet.
Traditionally Arab brides go shopping in the gold suq with their mothers and sisters or friends and choose the shabka themselves; it has to be something they like. The husband will then visit the shop at a later date and pay for it.
Image: shabka holder at a wedding. unfortunately i was too slow with the camera and the bride had put on the shabka before I could take a photo of it :-(
In the Arab world jewellery is not just about being decorated, it's also a way of saving. Jewellery given to a woman becomes hers absolutely and as a consequence women can act as the families' bankers. Women are given jewellery as children and will continue to collect throughout their life, with many women receiving jewellery (on the whole wedding presents consist of jewellery to the bride, rather than the Western tradition of household items) when they marry.
Women in the Gulf have traditionally bought and sold: as new fashions arrive the jewellery tends to go back to the goldsmith to be melted down and reworked, making old pieces quite rare.
Why 22 Carat?
Gold in the Gulf is always 21 or 22 carat which gives it the deep dark mustard yellow colour. The 9 carat jewellery found in England is described by jewellers here as being, “Not really gold at all, is it?”
When I first arrived in the Gulf and visited the gold suq I thought the gold shab-ka sets must be fakes, they were just so big and there were so many of them. I could not believe all that gold was for real.
I found out many years later one of the reasons for the jewellery being so big and so pure was simple. Originally the wearer would be sitting in a dark tent and small jewellery just wouldn't reflect any light, whilst the 22 carat purity would mean the colour of the reflected light was soft and orange, not hard and yellow.
Monday, October 19, 2009
We're Going to the Party, and We're, Going to get Mar-a-a-reed
So you want to organise a wedding in the Gulf? It's easy, just follow this handy hints guide and you'll be fine:
Guests
As a general rule the bride will invite her entire family, their friends, their friends, her work colleages, her school friends and everyone else she and her family have ever known. A small wedding is considered to be about 300 female guests; weddings are a time for celebration and everyone comes for the event.
Two events will take place; one for the male guests (sit, drink tea, chat, eat buffet at about 8pm) and another for the female guests (dance, music, laugh, eat buffet at about 11:30pm, chat, dance some more). Guests are not expected to bring presents. In Arab hospitality terms, 'he who throws a party pays for everything'. And in this case, it's the groom.
What to Wear
Thankfully bling x2 and as much of it as you've got. If you’re invited to an Arabic wedding never worry you’ll be wearing too much jewellery. I believe the phrase, "too much jewellery" is an oxymoron when talking about Arab weddings. Arab weddings are the time and the place to bring out all your jewellery and wear it all at the same time. Forget the phrase, 'Less is More'. Here, 'More is More'.
I used to go to weddings wearing what would be considered polite in European jewellery terms and always felt under-dressed. Arab weddings are about exhuberance and wearing all your diamonds, watches, bracelets and earrings. Together.
Dresses should be long, to the floor and very smart. Mostly plain colours are worn, very few girls will choose to wear patterns, but the dress will be ornamented with sparkly stuff and plenty of it.
The closest relatives of the bride will usually decide upon a theme and all the girls will buy their dresses to match-in with the theme, often shopping together. As a result, Saudi Arabia must have the best choice of party frocks in the world; Damman has an entire district turned over to wedding dress shops. ~Fab-a-roony~
The bride usually wears a long, complicated white gown with lots of sparkles and detailing. Trains are anything upto 20 feet long. However, red is often worn as this is the traditional colour to get married in.
The Hall
As a general overview you’ll see endless round dining tables, surrounding a central dance floor. At the head of the dance floor you’ll see a stage containing a love seat for the bride and groom. To the side of the stage you’ll see the wedding cake, a place for the Qur'an and another space for the dowry jewellery or Shbaka [shab-ka] {see wgaw future blog archive: shabka}.
Image: having been allowed entrance between the heavy curtains, I'm in a corridor walking towards the wedding hall
The Reception Committee
The first thing you'll see when entering the wedding hall will be a reception committee. The groom’s nearest relatives will be on one side and will form a line and the bride’s nearest relatives will be on the other side forming a similar line. Both sides will face each other and a gap is left in the middle, wide enough to allow guests to greet the relatives on both sides as they arrive.
The first person at the head of one line will be the bride’s mother and on the other, the groom’s mother. You are expected to congratulate and kiss all the reception committee by working your way down one side to the end and then start on the other side. Each person will be kissed and you'll have to work out how many kisses to give and on which side of her face. It's usually three kisses, but there are no rules for which side to start kissing, or how many kisses to give on each side, or even if it's two, three or four kisses.
Tables for Guests
There are two types of guest tables at Arabic weddings and both are an art form in themselves.
Food
Nibbles will be put on the tables for guests
Chocolates
Chocolates are a must and each table will have several plates of chocolates (designer preferably)
In addition, when the bridge and groom appear, boxes of chocolates will be handed out to each guest
Centre Stage
When the bride and groom arrive at the reception at around 10:30 in the evening they will walk through the hall towards a centre stage at the head of room. On either side of the centre stage the closest relatives will sit on large, winged armchairs. The stage will look something like this:
or this,
or this,
or this,
The Cake
Cakes need to be big to allow each guest to eat a piece. There's no real fashion or style rules, it's up to the bride to choose what she wants, although most cakes are similar in style and highlight aspects of the centre stage (see above)
Music
All Arabic weddings have music and it's got to be loud, very loud {see wgaw blog archive: rachid al majid and amer diab }
Twenty years ago or so a traditional band would sit in two rows along the edge of the dance floor, in front of the bridal stage and play music all night long. They would bring women dancers with them and these women would lead the guests dancing. Not so any longer.
Now the band or DJ is hidden away behind a set of curtains (men were playing the musical instruments or CDs) and played anonymously. To say I was disappointed was an understatement. I asked for the reason why they were hidden - I thought there might be some plausible explanation and I missing the point somewhere. It turned out the reason for hiding the men is so they can't see the girls at the wedding party and make eye contact with them, I guess also so the women can remove their hijabs and relax. Female DJs make so much more sense in this situation.
At the last wedding I attended the guests had got the idea of dealing with an invisible DJ and would cheer, clap and generally whistle when they liked the music he played. There was also the opportunity to go behind the screen and request specific records.
Photography & Videos
As in the west the bride and groom will hire a photographer and a video camera operator. In the GCC the camera operators will always be female and usually Phillipino.
Again, as in the west, the photographers will take enormous quantities of photos and then present the couple with an album of their wedding photos. The photos taken will be similar to the ones taken in the west for weddings; bride and groom, bride with her family, groom with his family, etc., etc.
In addition to the bride and grooms photos, a recent trend has started to happen at weddings; digital photo studios are now appearing in one corner of the wedding hall and guests can have thier photos taken whilst in their finery.
Various local ladies I know won’t have their photographs taken at weddings any longer and cover up or put on a hijab {see wgaw blog archive: hijab} whenever a photographer or video camerawoman comes near.
They don’t want any possibility of their hair being seen by a man who might look at the wedding photographs once they are being handed around to the relatives. This also applies to the recent phenominom of not dancing at a wedding party – the women don't wish to be seen by men who might look at the wedding videos at a later date. ~I usually feel a bit of a 'chump' at this point, having had the most clothes on all night, I suddenly have the least clothes on and with a man present, too boot~
Personal Recollections
1.
I took an English girlfriend to a family wedding and she was taking photos of the women dancing on the stage (she’s a belly dancer). One of the women dancing came over to her, turned into a ball of anger and spat out at us that she shouldn't be taking photographs of the women on stage. Later that same evening when my friend was belly dancing for the bride and groom, this lady was at the front video taping her.
2.
A friend was telling me she was really happy to be going to India to visit her grandmother. One of the reasons she was so happy was because she would now be able to show her grandmother her sister’s wedding photos.
I asked why she hadn’t sent them to her grandmother through the post. She answered,
“Because my sister’s husband says if the envelope is opened whilst it’s being transported to my grandmother’s, the person who looks at the photographs might be a man and will see my wife’s face. And he doesn’t want that to happen.”
What's Next?
On Wednesday I'll post on the jewellery worn at weddings
Guests
As a general rule the bride will invite her entire family, their friends, their friends, her work colleages, her school friends and everyone else she and her family have ever known. A small wedding is considered to be about 300 female guests; weddings are a time for celebration and everyone comes for the event.
Two events will take place; one for the male guests (sit, drink tea, chat, eat buffet at about 8pm) and another for the female guests (dance, music, laugh, eat buffet at about 11:30pm, chat, dance some more). Guests are not expected to bring presents. In Arab hospitality terms, 'he who throws a party pays for everything'. And in this case, it's the groom.
Invitations
Strange but true; when a woman is invited to a wedding her name will not be on the wedding invitation. Wedding invitiations should be written in Arabic, in a manner similar to the following:
"To the Woman who is not Immoral and who is Married to Mr. (insert husband's name)"What to Wear
Thankfully bling x2 and as much of it as you've got. If you’re invited to an Arabic wedding never worry you’ll be wearing too much jewellery. I believe the phrase, "too much jewellery" is an oxymoron when talking about Arab weddings. Arab weddings are the time and the place to bring out all your jewellery and wear it all at the same time. Forget the phrase, 'Less is More'. Here, 'More is More'.
I used to go to weddings wearing what would be considered polite in European jewellery terms and always felt under-dressed. Arab weddings are about exhuberance and wearing all your diamonds, watches, bracelets and earrings. Together.
Dresses should be long, to the floor and very smart. Mostly plain colours are worn, very few girls will choose to wear patterns, but the dress will be ornamented with sparkly stuff and plenty of it.
The closest relatives of the bride will usually decide upon a theme and all the girls will buy their dresses to match-in with the theme, often shopping together. As a result, Saudi Arabia must have the best choice of party frocks in the world; Damman has an entire district turned over to wedding dress shops. ~Fab-a-roony~
The bride usually wears a long, complicated white gown with lots of sparkles and detailing. Trains are anything upto 20 feet long. However, red is often worn as this is the traditional colour to get married in.
The Hall
As a general overview you’ll see endless round dining tables, surrounding a central dance floor. At the head of the dance floor you’ll see a stage containing a love seat for the bride and groom. To the side of the stage you’ll see the wedding cake, a place for the Qur'an and another space for the dowry jewellery or Shbaka [shab-ka] {see wgaw future blog archive: shabka}.
Before you reach the hall though you'll need to hand over your wedding invitation, a lady will be seated and checking you've been invited. Once your invitation has been checked you'll be allowed to enter between the heavy curtains which cover the entrance hall. From there you can start taking off outside clothes and prepare for the wedding hall and the reception committe.
Image: having been allowed entrance between the heavy curtains, I'm in a corridor walking towards the wedding hall
The Reception Committee
The first thing you'll see when entering the wedding hall will be a reception committee. The groom’s nearest relatives will be on one side and will form a line and the bride’s nearest relatives will be on the other side forming a similar line. Both sides will face each other and a gap is left in the middle, wide enough to allow guests to greet the relatives on both sides as they arrive.
The first person at the head of one line will be the bride’s mother and on the other, the groom’s mother. You are expected to congratulate and kiss all the reception committee by working your way down one side to the end and then start on the other side. Each person will be kissed and you'll have to work out how many kisses to give and on which side of her face. It's usually three kisses, but there are no rules for which side to start kissing, or how many kisses to give on each side, or even if it's two, three or four kisses.
Tables for Guests
There are two types of guest tables at Arabic weddings and both are an art form in themselves.
Food
Nibbles will be put on the tables for guests
and a three course buffet will be served at around 11pm
Chocolates
Chocolates are a must and each table will have several plates of chocolates (designer preferably)
In addition, when the bridge and groom appear, boxes of chocolates will be handed out to each guest
Centre Stage
When the bride and groom arrive at the reception at around 10:30 in the evening they will walk through the hall towards a centre stage at the head of room. On either side of the centre stage the closest relatives will sit on large, winged armchairs. The stage will look something like this:
or this,
or this,
or this,
The Cake
Cakes need to be big to allow each guest to eat a piece. There's no real fashion or style rules, it's up to the bride to choose what she wants, although most cakes are similar in style and highlight aspects of the centre stage (see above)
Music
All Arabic weddings have music and it's got to be loud, very loud {see wgaw blog archive: rachid al majid and amer diab }
Twenty years ago or so a traditional band would sit in two rows along the edge of the dance floor, in front of the bridal stage and play music all night long. They would bring women dancers with them and these women would lead the guests dancing. Not so any longer.
Now the band or DJ is hidden away behind a set of curtains (men were playing the musical instruments or CDs) and played anonymously. To say I was disappointed was an understatement. I asked for the reason why they were hidden - I thought there might be some plausible explanation and I missing the point somewhere. It turned out the reason for hiding the men is so they can't see the girls at the wedding party and make eye contact with them, I guess also so the women can remove their hijabs and relax. Female DJs make so much more sense in this situation.
At the last wedding I attended the guests had got the idea of dealing with an invisible DJ and would cheer, clap and generally whistle when they liked the music he played. There was also the opportunity to go behind the screen and request specific records.
Photography & Videos
As in the west the bride and groom will hire a photographer and a video camera operator. In the GCC the camera operators will always be female and usually Phillipino.
Again, as in the west, the photographers will take enormous quantities of photos and then present the couple with an album of their wedding photos. The photos taken will be similar to the ones taken in the west for weddings; bride and groom, bride with her family, groom with his family, etc., etc.
In addition to the bride and grooms photos, a recent trend has started to happen at weddings; digital photo studios are now appearing in one corner of the wedding hall and guests can have thier photos taken whilst in their finery.
Various local ladies I know won’t have their photographs taken at weddings any longer and cover up or put on a hijab {see wgaw blog archive: hijab} whenever a photographer or video camerawoman comes near.
They don’t want any possibility of their hair being seen by a man who might look at the wedding photographs once they are being handed around to the relatives. This also applies to the recent phenominom of not dancing at a wedding party – the women don't wish to be seen by men who might look at the wedding videos at a later date. ~I usually feel a bit of a 'chump' at this point, having had the most clothes on all night, I suddenly have the least clothes on and with a man present, too boot~
Personal Recollections
1.
I took an English girlfriend to a family wedding and she was taking photos of the women dancing on the stage (she’s a belly dancer). One of the women dancing came over to her, turned into a ball of anger and spat out at us that she shouldn't be taking photographs of the women on stage. Later that same evening when my friend was belly dancing for the bride and groom, this lady was at the front video taping her.
2.
A friend was telling me she was really happy to be going to India to visit her grandmother. One of the reasons she was so happy was because she would now be able to show her grandmother her sister’s wedding photos.
I asked why she hadn’t sent them to her grandmother through the post. She answered,
“Because my sister’s husband says if the envelope is opened whilst it’s being transported to my grandmother’s, the person who looks at the photographs might be a man and will see my wife’s face. And he doesn’t want that to happen.”
What's Next?
On Wednesday I'll post on the jewellery worn at weddings
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