Wives of the Prophet Mohammed

For many years I had heard the Prophet Muhamed had several wives, but I was never sure how many and was very unaware of the details surrounding this fact. 

Having recently posted: MASS WEDDINGS in which the speaker (see 1:05) suggests the Prophet Mohammed married Aisha when she was 6 and consumated the marriage when she was aged 9, I thought I would check this out further (it appears to be true).

However discussing his marriage to Aisha is not the purpose of this posting - the aim is to simply list the names of the Prophet's wives - for those of us who are unsure about whom he married and in which order:

1 -Khadija bint Khawilad (aged 40, twice widowed before)

2 - Sauda bint Zama (aged 50, widow)

3 - Aisha bint Abu Bakr (aged 9)

4 - Hafsa bint Umar bin Khattab (aged 22, widow)

5 - Zainab bint Khuzaima (aged 30?)

5 - Umm-I-Salma bint Abu Umayia (aged 26, widow)

6 - Zainab Bint Jahash (aged 38, widow)

7 - Juwaeria Bint Harith (aged 20, widow)

8 - Umm-I-Habiba bint Abu Sufyan (aged 36, widow)

9 - Marya Qibtiya bint Shamun (aged 17, Egyptian)

10 - Safia bint Hayi bin Akhtab (aged 17, widow)

11 - Raihana bint Umru bin Hanafa (no details given)

12 - Maimuna bint Harith (aged 36, widow)



Here are some relevant Koranic quotes regarding marriage: 

4:3
"And if you be apprehensive that you will not be able to do justice to the orphans, you may marry two or three or four women whom you choose. But if you apprehend that you might not be able to do justice to them, then marry only one wife, or marry those who have fallen in your possession."

33:52
"It is not lawful for thee (to marry more) women after this, nor to change them for (other) wives, even though their beauty attract thee, except any thy right hand should possess (as hand maidens) and Allah doth watch over all things."

33:53
"Nor is it right for you that ye should annoy God's Apostle, or that ye should marry his widows after him at any time. Truly such a thing is in God's sight an enormity."

Sofas? Banned for Women

Just sent to my inbox this morning ...

The latest FATWA: women are not allowed to sit on sofa because they get relaxed and they may open their legs while relaxing and this will seduce the male in the room…..


28th July - update
this was written by a woman


اخر فتاوي :الجلوس على الكرسي حرام

الى اي مستوى قد ينزل التفكير ؟؟ والى اي مستوى نصل بالدين الى حد الأضحوكة
كان الرسول الاكرم وصحابته الكرام يجلسون على المنبر



فتوى (تحريم الجلوس على الكراسي) التي أصدرتها الدَّاعية أم أنس، على موقعها الإليكتروني، بعنوان (تنبيه إلى حرمة الكراسي وما أشبهها من مقاعد وأرائك، والله أكبر) وإليكم نص الفتوى:
"إن من أخطر المفاسد التي بُليت بها أمتنا العظيمة ما يُسمَّى بالكرسي، وما يشبهه من الكنبات وخلافها، ممَّا هو شرٌّ عظيم يخرج من الملة كما يخرج السَّهم من الرَّمية . و إن السَّلف الصالح وأوائل هذه الأمَّة، وهم خير خلق الله، كانوا يجلسون على الأرض، ولم يستخدموا الكراسي، ولم يجلسوا عليها، ولو فيها خير لفعله حبيبي، وقرة قلبي، وروح فؤادي، المصطفى عليه الصلاة والسَّلام ومن تبعه بإحسان. و إن هذه الكراسي وما شابهها صناعة غربيَّة، وفي استخدامها والإعجاب بها ما يوحي بالإعجاب بصانعها وهم الغرب، وهذا، والعياذ بالله، يهدم ركناً عظيماً من الإسلام وهو الولاء والبراء، نسأل اللــــه العافية . الأمر جلل يا أمَّة الإسلام، فكيف نرضى بالغرب ونعجب بهم وهم العدو . و ما يجلبه الكرسي أو الأريكة من راحة تجعل الجَّالس يسترخي، والمرأة تفتح رجليها، وفي هذا مدعاة للفتنة والتبرُّج، فالمرأة بهذا العمل، تمكن الرَّجل من نفسها لينكحها، وقد يكون الرَّجل من الجّنّ أو الإنس، والغالب أن الجّن ينكحون النساء وهنَّ على الكراسي. وكم من مرَّة شعرت المرأة بالهيجان والشَّبق الجّنسي المحرَّم، وذلك بعد جلوسها على الكرسي. ولكَمْ من مرَّة وجدت المرأة روائح قذرة في فرجها كما خبرت وكما حدثتني بذلك بعض الصَّالحات، التائبات من الجُّلوس على الكراسي، لذلك فالجُّلوس على الكرسي رذيلة وزنا لا شبهة فيه . و الجلوس على الأرض يُذكر المسلم بخالق الأرض وهذا يزيد في التعبُّد، والتهجُّد، والإقرار بعظمته سبحانه "

Bahrain's first sex shop owner appears in court

The female owner of Bahrain’s first sex shop has appeared in court accused of insulting a Customs officer during an argument over the import of sex aids and games.

Khadija Ahmed denied the charge at Lower Criminal Court on Monday and the case was adjourned to September 15, according to a report in the Gulf Daily News.

The mother-of-three told the paper her shop is a legitimate business that also helps save marriages by putting excitement back into couple’s lives

I established the store to help married couples, because the issue most Bahraini couples suffer from is the lack of interest in their intimate relationship,” she told the paper.

Ahmed opened Khadija Fashion House in 2008 selling lingerie, sex aids and games to a loyal and increasing customer base.

She has faced issues with Customs officials over some of the products she tried to import that they said were not authorised.

"The products I sell don't go against Islam. There is nothing that prohibits married couples from enjoying their sex lives, or preventing them from having a happy marriage," she told the paper.

"Customs staff confiscated some of my products, even though some are widely available in pharmacies and other stores.”

For the actual articles see:
arabianbusiness
maktoob.com

Camel Chocolate

Before I ate this stuff I thought it sounded quite revolting. It turns out to be quite delicous.

Traditionally it is said that drinking camel milk increases your sex drive and with two camel dairy farms in the UAE, Al Nassma has launched a range of camel milk chocolate in 5 different flavored bars; Arabia (flavored with local spices) Dates, Macadamia Nut & Orange, 70% Cocoa and Whole Milk.




We've been lucky enough to try all the 5 flavours as well as the camel shaped chocolates:

and the small little squares:

Circumcision

Image taken from: http://biblica.frih.org/site/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/circumcision.jpg


I remembered this particular dinner party conversation a couple of days ago and decided it somehow fitted in with Arab-Eurpean cross cultural communication.

We were invited out for dinner one evening at a friend of a friend's house. We arrived at the host's house and entered, were ushered in to the lounge, sat down and were offered drinks. As we sat there and the conversations slowly began we started looking around the lounge and taking in what was on display.

We realised our host had an incredibly large collection of local antiques which could, if you were being unkind, be termed 'junk'. Quite an unusal thing in the Middle East. Both myself and my husband are interested in old objects, especially objects which had previous uses; agricultural, industrial, baking.

We both stood up and started moving around the lounge, picking up and marvelling at the sheer number of items and the age of what we were holding.

Suddenly our host, a man in his early 50's, became quite animated.

He jumped up from his chair and grabbed both our hands and led us to a very specific metal box which was placed on the bottom glass shelf on one of the display units. The box which would've once been made of metal, was now metal joined together with dark, rough rust. It was a fragile, old relic with a lid which was kept in place with an angled and battered hinge.

He picked up the box carefully and started to rub it gently and slowly the look on his face turned to glee, but not quite. Opening the lid as if it contained a powder which would blow away if he wasn't careful, he asked me if I knew what the contents would've been used for.

Looking at the assortment of rust and metal I couldn't tell, I simply had no idea about why this particluar box could hold such rapt attention. All I could see was a dirty old cloth, a very rusty knife and something else which used to be metal, but was also now a dark rusty colour.



Image taken from: www.ght.org.uk/userfiles/image/webgeneral/CircumcisionTools.jpg


Barely containing his excitement he burst out, "It's for chopping willies, it's for chopping willies" and then proceeded to pick up the knife and cut the air.

He then explained, this time with glee, "My grandfather used to travel around the villages in Bahrain and carry out the circumcisions." He continued, "It would be a party when he arrived."

At this explanation another man who had happened to overhear the converstation wandered over and started getting quite animated too, "Oh I remember him." And with a look of pure relish blurted out, "He did mine."

I dropped the box.

Sex Braggart Behind Bars

Right now from the sidelines in Bahrain we're watching the unfolding of a story in Saudi Arabia that has it all, soap opera-wise. Trouble is, for the man involved, it's real and he's in jail.

So, about two weeks ago, a Saudi man appeared on an international TV documentary and talked, no boasted, about having sex with lots of Saudi women and sex toys. And even though the TV show was broadcast from another country, he is now in jail in Saudi.

Why? In reality he hasn't broken any Saudi laws, except possibly that of publicising vice [tash-here] and he would've been doing that outside the country when he filmed the TV programme.  It was for LBC in Lebanon.

So, what has he done in reality?  He's broken social code number one: Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever talk about private things in public. Never, Ever.  Seriously; never ever ever.  And especially don't talk, or even worse boast, in public about having sex with Saudi women.


Media Reports
This is what Muhammad Humaidan from the UAE English language newspaper, ARAB NEWS wrote a couple of days ago:

JEDDAH: The Saudi who appeared on LBC’s “Bold Red Line” weekly program boasting about his sexual adventures and showing off sex toys in his bedroom before heading out into the night to cruise for ladies was arrested on Friday, Jeddah police told Arab News.

Two other men who had appeared with him were also detained for questioning in connection to the controversial television segment.

“Ali Mazen Abdul Jawad and two of his accomplices were arrested early Friday morning in an apartment of his friend,” Suleiman Al-Mutawae, acting spokesman of Jeddah police, told Arab News on Friday.

“The two others were his colleagues in the TV program in which a Abdul Jawad spoke about his promiscuous acts, which is a violation of the Shariah regulations on the one hand and against Saudi customs on the other.”

The crime in question is whether Abdul Jawad’s comments constitute the crime of publicizing vice, which falls under the tash’hir (publicizing) principle under Shariah. Anyone publicly advocating sinful behavior can end up before a judge who can administer a punishment at his discretion, a verdict known as ta’azir.

“Investigations to find the full details of the violations are underway. The culprits will be handed to the legal authorities for further action,” Al-Mutawae said.

It was rumored that police arrested Abdul Al-Jawad on an earlier occasion because of the public anger caused by the bold revelations. Some have called for his execution and there has been talk of sentencing him to years in prison and lashes.

A number of people have been demanding in the local press and Saudi websites to punish the man. There are unconfirmed reports that LBC may cancel the program, however attempts to confirm these reports with the broadcasting company were unanswered on Friday.

Those Sexual Differences

No matter where I sit, or what's going on, this is the big question I'm always asked,

"How do you cope with Arab men?"

or,

"Which men are worse, Arabs or Europeans?"

or

"What's the difference between an Arab and a Eurpean man?"



Take a Deep Breath
The last time I was asked this question was after overhearing an Australian man make fun of his wife.  She'd spilt some red wine over their restaurant table and there was wetness everywhere.

Loudly he proclaimed to the world, "Oh she's always like that, making a mess." Chairs were scraped back over the floor so everyone could hear him, and he continued to made one big fuss mopping up the wine.

Waiters were summound over, and then over again, to provide more and more paper napkins, allowing him to continue mopping and tell stories about the endless times she had done similar 'wrongs'.

Somehow his actions summed it up for me; the differences between Europeans and Arab men. Bear with me though, this is a generalisation.

With Europeans the put downs are subtle ~or not quite so subtle~ but always implicit, in this case the wife was 'stupid', 'clumsy' and 'annoying' but the words weren't actually said. Stories are told and subtly the story is given support as the wine was mopped up - wifey is stupid.  Easy to miss, but endlessly occuring.

With Arabs when there is negativity against a woman, and it definately occurs, then it's explict. It's not the subtle recalling of stupidity. It's simply a put down and you know it's a put down.  In someways easier to deal with.  You can rant and rave and get annoyed and state what it is that has PISSED YOU OFF.

So if I'd been at the table with my husband and had spilt wine over the table the waiter would've been summonded and asked to clean the table, and very little would've been said. It's a public place and negativity about the family is not going to be spoken, in any form verbal or non-verbal, to the outside world.


Work
There is a glass celing in the Arab work place, but then I think there is a glass celing in the western world. I can still recall the Arab man who was introduced to me when I joined an organisation as a Regional Manager, and he thought I must be the new admin assistant.  However, when it came to promotion, it was the western men who were chosen by the western CEO over the women who were performing more effectively.


Mothers
There is a traditional role played by women which is completely and utterly respected in the Arab world and which is not taken so seriously, in general, in the western world.  That is the role of a mother.  In my experience it is held in the highest esteem, a useful key role in life and the one person who binds the family together.  Mother-in-laws are equally important and I'm glad to say there is no such thing as a mother in law joke in the Arab world.


Marriage
In the Arab world it seems to me there are key wing clippings for women and the legal system.  Marriage for example takes away many rights for a woman {see wgaw blog archives: pre-nuptual arrangements, Hourly Marriages and thinking about divorce?}.  


Sex
I think another issue involving women's rights in the Arab world is our objectification. We're either, 'good girls/virgins' or, 'bad women/whores'.
~Why any man would want to marry a virgin is true mystery - where's the good sex going to come from if a woman has never had sex before?~

I once asked an Arab man to explain this prediliction for virgins and he enlightend me with the explanation,
"It wouldn't be nice to walk down the street and meet a man who had had sex with your wife."

I questioned him a bit more and he replied in the same manner, from an Arab man's point of view it's simply about the embarassment that might be felt if you ever had to meet a man who had previously had sex with your wife.

He then went on to expand his thought with a proclomation it wasn't normal to like virgins and was in fact, "a perversion, like when people use leather stuff ..."

Something for the Weekend Sir?

Appologies to anyone who finds nudity an issue, but this is too good to hide away in the cupboard; a Kuwaitia gets more than she bargins for ....  Again sent by a friend in Saudi.

New airline?

This was sent to me this morning by a Saudi friend. Apparently Saudi Arabia has a new circumsied airplane for its route from Riyadh to Morocco?




You choose:  offended or amused?

Rape

 For the longest time I've beome more and more tired of the restrictions, all the superior fearfulness of people telling you, 'you shouldn't do this ...' and 'you shouldn't do that ...'  Not only does it seem to clog up the news networks across the world but the blogs are full of it too.

Doesn't anyone but me get sick to the back teeth with it?  Doesn't anyone but me feel a tightening of the stomach and a ringing in the head and a wish to shoot the bully who is telling me how to live my life?

So why am I thinking about it today?  Because I've just read an article about legalising rape in Afghanistan. Why am I posting this particular issue on a blog which is supposed to be about the Middle East? For two reasons, many people connect these kind of laws with Muslims ~especially if they don't know the area, but do know the religion of choice in Afghanistan is Islam~ and because I'm so saddened by what I have just read.

The article is cut and pasted in its entirity, as I couldn't say it any better, from: JEZEBEL


U.S.-Backed Afghan Government Passes Pro-Rape Law To Win Election
US-backed Afghani President Hamid Karzai is poised to issue a law on women's rights that the UN Development Fund for Women has warned against and a female Parliamentarian calls "worse than during the Taliban."

The law would legalize marital rape; require women to seek their husband's permission to leave the house; additionally mean that women obtain their husband's permission to see a doctor, go to school or work; and eliminate the child custody rights of women in the event of divorce or widowhood. No, for real. This is what the government we've installed is about to do to half its citizens. Our government — which is happily handing out Viagra in tribal areas to ensure the military and intelligence cooperation of impotent warlords — is backing the President of a country who is putting into effect a new law which legislates away what few rights those warlords' wives have. I guess somebody in the embassy forgot to read Hillary Clinton's confirmation hearing testimony in which she promised to elevate the status of women's rights in foregin policy.

And why do you think our puppet government is perfect happy to legislate away the hard-fought rights of half its citizens — rights, by the way, that the U.S. actually sort of fought for on their behalf? To increase Karzai's chance of winning re-election in a country that is sick of his increasingly corrupt and ineffective government. There's a reason they call the guy the Mayor of Kabul.
After seven years leading Afghanistan, Karzai is increasingly unpopular at home and abroad and the presidential election in August is expected to be extremely closely fought. A western diplomat said the law represented a "big tick in the box" for the powerful council of Shia clerics.
Leaders of the Hazara minority, which is regarded as the most important bloc of swing voters in the election, also demanded the new law.

Ustad Mohammad Akbari, an MP and the leader of a Hazara political party, said the president had supported the law in order to curry favour among the Hazaras.

And if that's not fun enough, check out how well the Islamic supporters of the law can parrot the talking points of American conservatives when it comes to women and "innate" differences.
But [Akbari] said the law actually protected women's rights.
"Men and women have equal rights under Islam but there are differences in the way men and women are created. Men are stronger and women are a little bit weaker; even in the west you do not see women working as firefighters."

By the way, Akbari says that women can refuse sex with their husbands if they are sick or have a "reasonable" excuse — not that they could, like, prosecute that or anything — and they would totally be allowed to leave the house without permission in an emergency. There's, naturally, nothing in the law that defines a reasonable excuse or an emergency, but I'm assuming that will be for the husband or male authorities to determine.

Of course, Afghanistan's Western allies (ie., the U.S. and its allies) have been suspiciously quiet about this heinous new law, being as Karzai's people have convinced us that it's the only way he can win the election.
"It is going to be tricky to change because it gets us into territory of being accused of not respecting Afghan culture, which is always difficult," a western diplomat in Kabul admitted.
Soraya Sobhrang, the head of women's affairs at the Afghanistan Independent Human Rights Commission, said western silence had been "disastrous for women's rights in Afghanistan".

"What the international community has done is really shameful. If they had got more involved in the process when it was discussed in parliament we could have stopped it. Because of the election I am not sure we can change it now. It's too late for that."

Some diplomats are claiming that we'll, like, totes object when the law is final.

Some female Parliamentarians are trying to see the silver lining in the big black cloud of this law, at least until their husbands rescind their permission to work. Some female politicians have taken a more pragmatic stance, saying their fight in parliament's lower house succeeded in improving the law, including raising the original proposed marriage age of girls from nine to 16 and removing completely provisions for temporary marriages.
"It's not really 100% perfect, but compared to the earlier drafts it's a huge improvement," said Shukria Barakzai, an MP.

On Being Sterile

Having a child is seen as an essential part of life here and you are deemed extremely unlucky if you ~have scrambled eggs~ are unable to have children.


Urban Legends
1.
A friend remembers walking through the suq on her way to work and being stopped by one of her co-workers, a Bahraini. He had stuck his head out of the office door as she walked past and had shouted, at the top of his voice,
“Hello”

She stopped, turned around and replied,
“Hello”.

He shouted back,
"Where are your children?”

To which she replied,
“I don’t have any.”

Leaning further out of his office door he continued to shout,
"No eggs, that’s what it is, no eggs.”

She said she was rather glad no one else was about at the time and made her excuses to leave.

As she walked further into the suq she had no choice but to listen as he continued to shout at her back,
"My wife has a friend who has no eggs, she went to a doctor, do you want to meet my wife’s friend? I can arrange it. She had no eggs and she only paid, it was very cheap, she only paid SR 10,000 and now she has four babies. She had four babies all at the same time. I can arrange it, why don’t you come and meet her? My wife wouldn’t mind.”

At which point she went and hid in a shop.


2
Another friend's husband was talking with a Wahabi {see wgaw blog archive: Creeds of Islam} business colleague. As they were talking the colleague asked my friend's husband why he didn’t have children.  Her husband replied it was because,

"My wife is unable to have children.”

Quick as a flash the man suggested a solution,
"Take another wife then. Have two wives, one for sex and the other one for babies.”