Sunday, March 8, 2009

Some Stories

Although Arab friends found these stories amusing enough to send on as e.mail jokes, they really didn't do much for me smile-wise. Amusing, but definately not rip-cracking - I think crossing cultures with humour and jokes is super-hard.

Anyway see what you think and if you have any of your own, please cut and paste them at the bottom of this blog, laughing is always good :-)

1. An Egyptian Interview

Reporter: Hi
Egyptian: Hello

Reporter: Do you speak English?
Egyptian: Berfect

Reporter: Do you mind if I interview you?
Egyptian: No, I don't have a mind

Reporter: What's your name?
Egyptian: Taha

Reporter: Sex?
Taha: I love it

Reporter: Oh no, I meant male or female?
Taha (yelling): What do you sink?

Reporter: It's just for the sake of the report. Never mind ... male ...
Taha: No ... I like female

Reporter: How do you find life here in Egypt?
Taha: Egybt ...Very nice cantry ... nice wezar ... nice food ... byramidz

Reporter : Oh well ... beside the weather and the Pyramids ... What else do you like in your country?
Taha: Byramids, nice wezar, nice food

Reporter: DO YOU WORK?
Taha: Yas, when I am not buzy ...

Reporter: What do you think about the traffic problem in Egypt?
Taha: Very big broblem ... very much cars ... you see? ... but za guvurment is trying to make it bettar ... zey did za circle street and za mehwar street ... and zey make all streets one way so if you go ... you can't come back!!!

Reporter: What about the economic problems in Egypt?
Taha: I do not undurztand what you say

Reporter: I mean ... how do you deal with money problems in Egypt?
Taha: Egypt very rich cantry ... we have alot of cotton ... alot of water ... and we have byramidz

Reporter: So do you make a lot of money?
Taha : No, no ... it is not legal to make money ... one frend I know make money at home ... and he go to brizon ... if you make money at home ... you will go to brizon

Reporter: Let me rephrase ... since Egypt is a rich country ... do you have a lot of money?
Taha: me? ... Not a lot … but I eat and drink Alhamdulelah?

Reporter: Then where does all the money go?
Taha: Guvurment

Reporter: And what does the government do with the money?
Taha: Zey Build circle street, mehwar street and make all streets one way

Reporter: Well , Ok ... Do you vote?
Taha: What duz zat mean?

Reporter: Do you choose your president?
Taha: Who, Mubarak?

Reporter: Yes
Taha (nervously): I didn't give my voice ... But if I was. I will give him my voice

Reporter: Why him?
Taha: Because he was an airoplane in za war ... he waz za leadar airoplane

Reporter: But there are no wars right now
Taha: But if we have war ... you see? ...We know we will have a very good airoplane in it

Reporter: What about the last 26 years?
Taha: I got marry ... and have Ahmed and Amira ... and……….

Reporter: No, I meant Mubarak.

Taha: He also marry… and have …

Reporter (interrupting): No, I meant what did Mubarak do for Egypt in the last 26 years?
Taha: He build Circle Street, Mehwar Street and make all streets one way

Reporter: Thank you very much for your time Mr. Taha
Taha: No broblem, only 10 bounds

Reporter: I never said I will pay you for this
Taha: ok ok. Zanks a lot.

2. Lebanese Business Deals

Abou Steif (father): I want you to marry a girl of my choice.
Steif: 'I will choose my own bride!!! '

Abou Steif: 'But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter.. '
Steif: 'Well, in that case... ok'

Next Abou Steif approaches Bil Gates.
Abou Steif: 'I have a husband for your daughter.... '

Bill Gates: 'But my daughter is too young to marry!!!!! '
Abou Steif: 'But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank. '

Bill Gates: 'Ah, in that case... ok'
Finally Abou Steif goes to see the president of the World Bank.

Abou Steif: 'I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president. '
President: 'But I already have more vice- presidents than I need! '

Abou Steif: 'But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law. '
President: 'Ah, in that case... ok'

1 comment:

mistika said...

This is so funny my husband and I enjoyed it.